What a beautiful and even number. 40 divided by 2 is 20 – the youth time when nothing stood in my way. And 40 multiplied by 2 is 80 – the age when I have no clue who I will be. Would I want to live till being 80? Yes and no.


Yes, because I truly hope there is more to life than this.

No, because I am afraid it will be just the same as the last 10-20 years of my life.


I thought I am hitting the identity crisis. Maybe I am. Actually, I think I am.

But what I didn’t know is that I am hitting the mid-life crisis and realizing that my life so far was … to say it gently, not actually much of any worth? Some things here and there, some business or a new job, new relationships and friendships, new rock bottoms and experiences, quitting and standing up for myself just to prove myself that I can be in control, which in reality wasn’t the case.


I’ve never been in control of anything in my life.


My drive, determination, strength, and resiliency were just symptoms and side effects of my running away from traumas.

My kindness, politeness, and smile on the face were in many cases nothing but the face mask so people don’t dig deeper – I wouldn’t know what to tell them then.

My beauty in and out, as people told me, my voice and identity, my exoticism and outgoing were nothing but the armor I was wearing so I don’t get hurt anymore.

My chasing goals, accepting the most challenging challenges, convincing myself that this is what I need were nothing more than me wanting to be seen, validated, and loved.


And one would argue that there was a part of me in all of it that was the real and true me, yes – maybe yes. However, it felt then and still feels like one circus where I played any and every role perfectly, or almost perfectly. People in my life watched, left the performance earlier or on time, stayed to chat longer, but eventually, nothing came out of it.


I try to be grateful today.


Grateful for being alive – yes, I tried to die of suicide several times.

Grateful for supporting and loving people – yes, I am, but sometimes I wish they weren’t in my life. Call it pushing away.

Grateful for solutions – yes, I could always find one, but why did I do that?

Grateful for my body – yes, it is a freaking amazing machine, which I managed to abuse almost to death.

Grateful for nature – the place where despite the danger creeping behind the corner, I found solitude and a place to cry without being judged or called out.

Grateful for aloneness – because that gave me the chance to just be, in some cases scary moment of making a decision between to be or not to be.


I do want to be grateful.

I do not want to sound like a spoiled kid.

I do not want to get punished by the universal parent for not seeing my blessings.


But I also want to be a human.


The human who feels like not being grateful some days.

The human who feels pain and hurt more than joy.

The human who doesn’t want to play the same game as others.

The human who does not want to fit.

The human who feels spoiled.

The human who is tired and does not want to hear “it will be better tomorrow”.

The human that feels depressed and wants to feel depressed for just a moment.

The human who can make decisions.

The human who feels like a failure.

And the human who hopes that there is more to life than this.


So today I give myself permission to feel depressed, to feel the personal and mid-life crisis, to feel unworthy, to feel unsuccessful, to feel incapable. I give myself permission to be a human, not a robot.


And maybe you are right, tomorrow will come and it may be different. It may show me something else that I am going to experience, feel, touch, hear, and see. With my all-human being.


Izabela ❤

Holiday season… and so many anxieties & traumas behind!


The holiday season triggers me a lot. And I want to share a few reflections hoping it may make you reflect on some aspect too!


This time of the year got extremely commercialized and it’s ranking the highest in the year in anxiety, depression, and suicidal attempts statistics. This is very shocking yet not surprising…

I face the same emotional and mental obstacles myself, and talking to my clients makes me think why do we even do that to ourselves!!


Anxiety is extremely prevalent and high among the majority of people I interact with. When I ask them what they could do to minimize that they are even afraid to mention because their actions may mean rejection, judgment, being pointed at or seen as unworthy!


This blog is voicing out a lot of situations and examples that may trigger you.

They trigger me to the point that I don’t want to be silent anymore! So I decided to use my voice for the first time for 38 years and speak up!


I hear arguments such as:

Don’t you like giving gifts?

Don’t you like gifting those you love?

It’s just once a year, I’ll survive.

I will just put my head down and do what’s expected of me.

For the sake of peace, I’ll do whatever it needs to be done.

But they expect me to….

I have nothing to say, that person is in charge.

You don’t object against the family’s “traditions”.

… and many more!



Let’s break this down.


When I say “commercialized” I don’t mean that hand-made gifts are better than commercial gifts. What I mean that the VALUES got commercialized, and now it’s not about what you believe in and stand for, but what is expected of you. 

  • If your way of showing love is not by giving gifts but rather making a delicious meal, why wouldn’t you do that? 
  • If instead of gifts you decide to get your family involved in some community project, why wouldn’t you do that?
  • Why quality time, connection, or playtime is not considered as a gift?
  • Also, if gift-giving is so important to you and it indicates that you think of someone when was the last time you bought them a surprise gift or maybe a birthdays gift? When was the last time you send a birthday card to them?
  • What if you think of these people throughout a year as much as you pretend to think of them during the holiday season by buying expensive gifts?


Then comes to another major issue – the value of these gifts. 

People will judge you every day. They know “exactly” how much you earn, what kind of job you do and that you are wealthy enough to buy decent or even rich gifts. Then you show up with your gifts and you are judged and pointed at anyways because the gifts you brought are not enough. 

We feel that we should be buying more expensive gifts because then we would be seen as more worthy. We would be a better uncle or grandma and compared to another uncle or grandma. 

  • How many kids today value one grandparent over others based on what type of gifts they get?
  • How many times we were expecting the wealthier family member to bring better quality or more expensive gifts?
  • How many times we know to not expect anything from that other member who just lost their job and they don’t have money and we see them as less worthy of spending even time together?
  • What if we would make an effort to spend holiday time without ANY GIFTS? 
  • How would your Christmas/Holiday evening look like? 
  • What would you do?
  • What value and worth would you attach to the family members you spend it with?


Another important aspect is the boundaries.

Not everyone was raised in beautiful and with no-issues families. Many of us hold onto some kind of traumas from that time. Many of us grew up around codependent or narcissistic parents who never had any relationships with themselves and awareness around their issues. 

Yet we arrive at such homes and are expected to suddenly drop all our traumas and past experiences, keep ourselves small to make everyone else happy. The only unhappy person is you!

Trying to set up boundaries by asking to not comment on particular topics or asking about particular things seem to not work during that time. It feels like because of the holiday season and the fact that you see your family once a year you need to shrink and hide and shut up to make the celebrations undisturbed. And in the end, you will be seen as a bad folk – the one who tries the best to keep boundaries at a healthy level. 

I haven’t been to my family holidays for the last 8 years. Because I work on creating the healthiest boundaries so that when I visit, I don’t get triggered and I will be respected as I am, with my boundaries.

So far it felt like I was voiceless during that time… 

  • How many of us are losing voice for just that moment of the year? 
  • How many of us are having boundaries crossed so abruptly and violently that we no longer can respect ourselves?
  • How many of us need to follow the rules that don’t align with what we stand for?
  • How many of us need to be quiet?


I believe another and pretty serious issue around holiday time is getting re-traumatized. 

We are expected to visit places and people we may have the worst experience with. Someone who abused or traumatized us. Yet at that time we are “expected” to be around these people, without having healthy boundaries set up yet or not enough amount of work done to be able to deal with such triggers. 

  • How many times did you know that going back to home you grew up in will make you re-traumatized and you will need therapy sessions to come back to your balanced state?

Yet many of us are afraid to say “NO, I can’t do that this year.” 

Many of us are not capable of even admit to ourselves that we are not ready and that is OK. 



I don’t see anything wrong in refusing to go to the place that caused you a major trauma. 

I don’t see anything wrong in refusing to be involved in gift-giving to people who you didn’t forgive yet. 

It is not about forced healing or forced forgiving.

It is all about your voice and values, and what you stand for.

It is about your boundaries and choices.

It is about your mental and emotional health.

Don’t be afraid to say now, and change the narratives for yourself.

You don’t need to follow the commercial rules that someone set up in the past. 

You set up and create your way of celebrating others and yourself!!!


LoVe ❤⁠




“MAKE A WISH” Oracle Deck created from Soul & Heart.



Grab your Card Deck here.

For international orders grab the deck here.


Today I feel excited and vulnerable at the same time about launching my amazing creation – “MAKE A WISH” Dandelion Spirit Oracle Deck.

The story behind the scene of creating this deck is what makes it even more exciting and vulnerable.

My rituals and morning routine were developing since Winter 2017. I had a practice that was fully aligned with me, not following any rules or expectations of worldly “spirituality” yet being fully spiritual and healing for me.


At the beginning of this year, I started adding extra thing into it – I just felt like it. I started drawing and writing words, mantras, affirmations, intentions, and prayers on the little note cards. In no time I had a few of them, that I shuffled during my morning routine and I truly enjoyed it.

I have almost 50 different decks in my possession. I use them randomly as I feel drawn to them. But my notes were somehow more ‘magical’. They felt cool, like mine. They felt like my body’s little nudges.


I enjoyed them so much that I started looking into creating a card-like deck for myself. By mid-spring, I had collected plenty of words, mantras, intentions, prayers, that now I could place every one of them on the separate picture using PowerPoint. That was the only graphic-like program I was familiar with. Soon enough I had a collection of cards – on my computer.

One day walking around Walmart, looking for the home office supplies, I found colorful paper for a printer. I grabbed one sampler box and run back home. That evening I was printing every card separately, cutting them out of the paper separately and collecting one by one on the stack. I couldn’t believe how beautiful they looked.


Oh, my goodness, how excited I was to cleanse them with my palo santo, do a ritual where I blessed them and energized with my energy… and draw the card! That moment was pure magic to me.

I knew every single card in this ‘deck’ was my wisdom, from my Soul and heart, delivered during many rituals over a few months. Now I had my deck – and nobody saw it!


I felt very vulnerable, can I even say a little stupid? I didn’t even want to share with my husband that I would love to create a card deck, yet that I created using our home printer. How funny!


Fast forward few months later, I asked the illustrator of my book and another card deck, Stephanie Chinn (IG @@stephaniechinnart) about drawing for me a digital version of dandelion and dandelion seed. She did a beautiful job. Thank you, Stephanie!

FYI, dandelion is my plant. I am in love with it, and with its beauty, symbolizing so many values I stand for. (Every order of the deck will receive a DANDELION POEM where I express my intimate connection with this plant).


As soon as I received the illustration and drawing, I got back to creating. Transferring the same mantras and words onto the more professional picture. Soon enough I had a beautiful collection that by now I didn’t want to not publish!!! At least for me, right?

From then on it took some work to make my creation possible to see the daylight. Editing and proofreading was one thing that I needed to do first (yes, English is my 4th language so I guess I will need that service more often than I thought lol). Thank you, Stacey (@sparis58), for help!!!!

Then making them printable was another step. Converting them in a proper size and format files so I could officially upload them into the software of the printing company I chose was possible thank to my husband Kurt and our friend Billy (my ‘personal’ computer geeks).

And today I have these beauties in my hand!!!

And today I have these beauties for you, too!!!!!


LoVe ❤


Grab your Card Deck here.

For international orders grab the deck here.



Author & Design: ©Izabela Chrobak/Authentic Wellbeing
Cover Illustration & Artwork: ©Stephanie Chinn
Photography: ©Izabela & Kurt Tysver
Copyright: ©2019 beYOUtiful by Izabela, LLC


  • “It makes sense that you feel like you feel and you are in a place of nothingness and hopelessness based on how long you’ve been traumatized. I wonder if you had some extended moment of contentment in an early age, but that may be already shrunk within you” – said my psychologist.
  • “No, I haven’t had that moment at all in my life” – I said.
  • “What do you mean? Can you maybe recall that you had or hadn’t?”- she asked.
  • “My mom was hit by my dad for the first time when I was 2 weeks old…” – long pause…
  • “So no, I haven’t had any single time in my entire life where I could feel safe, content, and loved for an extended time” – I added.

The word PTSD was spoken out loud on July 5th, 2019. Almost 38 years after that incident.

I have lived all my life structuring it so “perfectly” around protecting those who I loved and myself. It hurts every day more and more realizing what patterns, behaviors, and strategies I developed to feel safe! …and still not feeling safe as an adult!

I remember the first time being asked how would I like to feel in my body and answering right away “SAFE”. At that time, this word made me shiver. I felt scared, cold, amazed, shocked and curious.

Why safe?

Today I know why. Or I may know why….

The introduction to my book describes the vision I received a coupleof days after that question and it is so true now. It is even truer to my heart now than it was when I first wrote it.


What does it take for a child to feel safe?

Why does a child need to fight or work hard in order to keep herself safe?

Even more, how brave that girl was to develop behavior so unique, so perfect, so strategic and logical to keep herself and her loved ones safe. Safe from a cruel abuser. An abuser who didn’t care at all how the little girl felt while looking at her mom bleeding from the physical abuse, and not being able to get up.

I remember a million times jumping right in between his hands and my mom’s body or face. I was brave. I wasn’t afraid at all.

Or… actually, I was afraid. I was afraid of not being able to FULLY protect my mom or siblings. And the goal of my life was to make sure they are safe.


Today the journey into the renewal of 38 years old woman starts.

  • Is it going to take me another 38 years to feel fully safe?
  • Is it going to be a long process to feel unconditionally loved?
  • Or am I going to push everyone and everything away because I am afraid of being not safe before any healing can happen?


How powerful is that word, and how powerful is the emotion behind it.

Today the mental, emotional and spiritual overwhelm is unbearable. Today there is darkness. Blackness. And nothingness.

Tomorrow might be brighter, who knows!

All I can say today is:

“It’s about time… to finally discover that little girl with all her dreams, joys, innocence and innate rights to be safe and loved.”

My prayer today is:

“Dear Beloved, may I find hope in every day. The hope that will keep me breathing.

All I ask is to keep me alive so I can find that next breath to move and keep moving.

You know what direction I need to be moving. Give me hope as a lantern, and guide me on this path I’ve never known that will appear in front of me!

Please keep me safe while walking!”

LoVe ❤️


Soul-inspired “habits”.


I am a recovering addict from “personal development world”.

I have been in this ‘addiction’ for a few years so far. Definitely at the beginning, just like any addiction, it was fun, exotic, refreshing and oh gosh, how inspiring and opening the doors to a wider and broader, and even more adventurous, world!

However, the more I was getting swept into it, the more side-effects I could see.


Don’t take me wrong. Every one of us is on the different level of personal growth and on a different page in our book called “Life”. I believe I wouldn’t be here without being ‘there’. I believe that we are in the place where we are because of the circumstances and experiences we lived through.

So today personal development and self-help have a totally different meaning & connotation to me than in the past.


There is no universal ‘definition’ for those. You take it as you feel is right for you!


For me, personal development got to the point where I felt rather restricted, limited and kind of paralyzed rather than actually growing. Some aspects made me cringe, others made me back off, so I started exploring. I knew there is something there for me to explore.

Why didn’t I feel inspired, empowered and growing anymore, as I used to?

Just like people ask me why don’t I workout obsessively, diet restrictively and live the fitness lifestyle I used to.


I just simply outgrown all of that!

Here is my thing. The force, restrictions, rules, shoulds, expectations, resistance, obsession, push through, work hard, sleep less, and hustle just DO NOT work for me anymore. Artificial vision boards without actual feelings behind don’t mean anything to me. Wake up early, work late nights, don’t sleep – it is just a big no-no for me.

And that’s me!

Even though the definition of “development’ is: the process of developing or being developed; and the synonyms are: evolution, growth, maturing, expansion, or progress; I still prefer today to use the term “personal growth” or blossoming and blooming.

Today that self-work for me is oriented around how I want to feel while accomplishing my desires, what makes me feel lighten up, and how I can see and also create more abundance in my life.

  • It is about feeling in alignment with my values and priorities.
  • It is about feeling true with my actions.
  • It is being in peace with my decisions.
  • It is about knowing that ‘no’ is ‘no’ and ‘yes’ is ‘yes’.
  • It is about saying ‘hell yes’ when I am ready for.
  • And saying ’heck no’ to create healthy boundaries.
  • It is about being in a creative mode, without rush, rules or attachment.
  • It is about letting go of what doesn’t serve me.
  • It is about being in flow with my energies.
  • And it is about freaking rest, sleep and taking it at the pace which is right for me, not for the world.


Today I would like to share with you the list of soul-inspired ‘habits’, ‘action steps’, or simple personal commitments to myself (whatever name you resonate with).

  • To have a pure, quiet, grounding and filled with gratitude time for myself and my soul in the morning and in the evening before bed.
  • To have a screen-free hour before bad to prepare my brain and body for the deserved deep rest.
  • To dance every day to move energies through and feel joyful.
  • To read and/or write poetry to feed my soul.
  • To walk to nature and connect with it in order to feel grounded and as a part of the Mother Earth.
  • To detox from social media at least a couple of days a week to create more space for my own thoughts, inspirations, inner voice, and emotions.
  • To have tea or kakao ritual to feel celebrated, acknowledged, and expensive.
  • To read a book and listen to the podcast which feed my heart, soul, and mind rather than make me fall into the comparison/anxiety trap.


Those make me feel empowered, expensive, hopeful, grateful, passionate, and inspired. Those truly fill my wholeness with love, kindness, expansion, compassion and sacredness.


What would be your soul-inspiring ‘action step’ you could set up for yourself?


LOve ❤️❤️❤️


YOU CAN WATCH MORE ABOUT THIS on my YouTube channel in the beYOUtiful episode #23!



The Food and Workout tracking experiment – what an AHA-Moment!


I haven’t tracked any food or workouts for 16 months!

SO WHAT? What’s the big deal?


It is a huge deal once I tell you that I was bulimic and anorexic, had an obsessive approach to workouts and was tracking every pinch of salt or cinnamon!

That 16 months ago, I hit a wall. I was extremely tired and sick physically, ready to be hospitalized due to extreme bulimia. I seriously couldn’t hold a single meal. All due to the obsessive and distorted vision of my own body and of how I “should” look like to be loved, admired, appreciated and perceived as an amazing trainer or coach!

I tracked every single pinch of spices, salt and measured EVERYTHING obsessively for over 4 years (and when I couldn’t measure, I either didn’t eat or I purged to not track it). I tracked all activities, including workouts, calories burned, including cleaning, sex and who knows what, so I could subtract that from eaten food.

Pretty sick, isn’t it?

How did I manage to break that pattern? In this case, already a mental disorder?


Imagine the situation when you hit the wall not the first time, but maybe 10th or 50th time and you are simply too tired, too sick and too depressive to keep going. Yet there is that “tiny, little, silent, almost not possible to hear” voice keeping you at the level of “let’s try, one more time, pleaseeeeeee”.
I hit that exact moment!


In my book “The True Identity” [publishing Summer 2019] I wrote:

“November 2017, a day that started just like any of the others. (…) After yet another purging incident I went to a room where there was a huge mirror. For the last couple of months, I had avoided mirrors, hating what I saw. I didn’t know what made me look on this particular day but the image I saw this time wasn’t the extra small ‘fat’ girl but a person who was full of hatred, more hatred than anyone on this planet should be carrying.

The hate in my eyes was unbelievably huge. Words couldn’t fully express the view I saw.

(…) I have never seen my eyes in such deep darkness. They gazed straight at me and didn’t want to give up until I felt the hurt, they were showing me. They didn’t blink, holding me to the deep darkness of hate they expressed. The lightning coming from them was blinding me. They reminded me of how hateful I was. How ugly of a person I was. How worthless, miserable and pitiful I was.

I wanted to turn my head away from the image I saw. However, I simply couldn’t as someone was holding my head and telling me ‘look at yourself, look at who you have become, think about who you will be if you keep going along this path’.

My body tensed, my hands and fingers squeezing so hard that my knuckles went white. My fingers became impatient, wanting to start scratching my skin. I wanted to hurt myself, feel the pain on the physical side of it. I wanted to rip my skin away and keep scratching until I bled.

On that day the most magical phrase came out of my mouth.

‘I need help. I can’t do this by myself. Please help me’.

I cried as I realized that my stomach hurt. I was still hungry and I kept thinking that I shouldn’t eat anything anymore. I cried because deep inside of me I knew this is not the way it should be. I knew, in my heart, that this was not the true me. Deep inside of me, I knew, I had a mental eating disorder and that I could be cured.

I knew that there was no pill for it. The need for external validation, approval or feeling loved was not being helpful either.

The first thing I needed to do was to decide that enough is enough. Then I needed to ask for help.”


So, fast forward, 16 months later, after not tracking a single spoon or sip of any food, I pulled up the app and … started again.

But wait. This time I did it fully conscious, after thinking about it for a few days. I wanted to do it NOT for the sake of restricting my nutrition or putting myself back again in that mental, deprivation, restriction and obsessive mindset!


I wanted to do that to test – myself, my ability to listen to my body, to see how my inner wisdom is guiding me and how that entire ‘tracking’ thing will make me feel.

**** Don’ take me wrong. I ask and encourage and even start the nutritional coaching with my clients from tracking. For the sake of building the awareness around what kind of food goes into their bodies, what type of foods are in their programs, what to eat and buy, and what foods make them feel bad or energized. It is also a way to create the habit of being aware of healthier food choices. However, I always make sure it is not getting into the obsessive addiction when my clients feel that they ‘need to’ or ‘should’ track because otherwise their worth is diminished. That is not the case and I monitor that closely! ****


And AHA-MOMENT came with that experiment!

  • I felt pissed off at first – how come the app and the device tell me what MY body needs and how MY body should eat?
  • Then I felt scattered and little confused as for how the algorithms in these apps are made to create the ‘perfect’ calories in-and-out plan so people can follow it and feel better or.. worthy – that was not what I wanted the app to tell me! That is now what the app’s role is anyways!
  • Additionally, I ignored the app. According to it in the middle of the day, when I was hungry and wanted to give my body healthy foods, the app told me to stop because I was having too much of that and too little of that. Oh well, I turned it off and followed the wiser wizard I have ever known – MY BODY!


At the end of the day, I know that tracking taught me something and that it’s not anymore my thing.

It taught me:

  • Discipline
  • Awareness around foods and nutrition
  • Consistency
  • Perseverance
  • Commitment
  • Creating a daily habit to journal.


It is not anymore my thing because:

  • I listen to my body more
  • I feel what my body needs
  • I am aware of my healthy choices
  • I am very tuned in to my body
  • I am aligned and confident with who I am
  • I am confident with my food choices
  • I am into health, not restrictions
  • I know my worth
  • I don’t need an app to tell me all of the above!!!!


And after you read this blog, all I want YOU to get out of it is that YOU too can live that way.

Because I believe that restrictions, deprivation, obsessions, dieting, over-training and seeking external validation of self-worth never worked and will never work.

Until one taps within their own bodies and create the lifestyle where the authentic wellbeing, with physical, mental, emotional & spiritual health, is the priority.

No app, no diet, no magic pill, no wrap, no quick fix are the solutions. At least not sustainable.


Your job is your choice!
My job is to bring awareness to the world and to YOU!

I talked about that on my beYOUtiful Show episode #22. So worth to listen!
P.S. I am so grateful for that experiment and that realization!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Do you know what it means to protect your energy?

** It means putting your experience, feelings, and happiness before others’ (which can be hard for people pleasers).

** It means being more aware of the relationships and dynamics in your life.
It means spending your time with those who respect your boundaries, time and self-care.

** It means spending your time with people who light you up, appreciate you, help you grow, and bring out the best in you.

** It means to nurture your wellbeing (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) before others’.

“` If you have people in your life who are toxic, and you consistently feel depleted after spending time with them – set boundaries and stop sacrificing your energy and happiness for theirs.

“` If you are committed to the situations, events, and actions which drag you down and make you feel less than, set the boundaries, create the safe space and protect your happiness and energies!

—- If it feels good and calm on your soul and heart, it’s good for your energy. —-

—- If it’s depleting and dragging, it’s bad for your energy and you need to change or shift things ❤️ —-


Let me share the story with you:

For the last couple of years, I have been experiencing and feeling more like introvert, an empath or highly sensitive person. For the person who used to be very outgoing, social and extroverted, that felt very uncomfortable at first. And it didn’t stop right away.

One day, one of my energy healer (for your info, I am supported today with the spiritual coach, energy healer and practitioner, naturopath, period and natural fertility coaches, and therapist) indicated that I need some protection.

‘Protection from what?’ – I asked.
‘Protection of your energies and aura from everything you are taking on’ – she replied

Then she went on explaining how being a highly sensitive person and empath and serving others, we tend to take lots of people’s energies, emotions and charge they carry onto us, without realizing that. Until we find ourselves in the emotional hole, where we feel depleted, tired, exhausted and even unmotivated or depressed.

It totally made sense to me!!!

I always was a sensitive person, who wanted to care for everyone. When I saw a homeless person, I cried. When I saw a poor person, I was giving all my lunch. When I saw a clean lady, I was the next day bringing my clothes for her kids. I truly cared and care a lot

And I truly take a lot on me, because I want to help…

…because I want this world to be better, kind, loving!

So after that, I started studying what being an empath and highly sensitive person means. And how I can protect myself as that person.

There are many tools out there, including books, blogs, videos and I am one of them sharing these with you today as well.

Today I use few tools. I do NOT use all of them at the same time, not even during the same day. I use what calls my name and what feels like it’s going to help me. I developed them, brought them into my life or adopted from others, just as I was connecting and working with myself.

Use your own body, heart, and intuition, and chose what YOU feel resonating with. Most importantly, use what makes you feel coming back home and being safe after you apply some of the tools you chose for self.

And I invite you to explore! Exploration and curiosity are the best companions to rediscovering our authentic welling and true identity.


Tools I use:

Cord Cutting and Grounding practice.

This is the simplest practice which can be done ANYWHERE, even in public or in the car. It brings you back right to the spot where you are and disconnect from anything what affected your aura at that moment. Highly recommended!! I adopted that from my spiritual women’s coach Elizabeth DiAlto. She has that amazing practice on her website here:

Meditation and Breathing practice.

This can be done within a couple of minutes to a longer time, as you need. Go with your own needs and feelings. If you need some silent moment when you breath deeply, do it. If you just want to do some breathing with minor stretches, do it. If it feels like guided meditation, go for it. If it feels like an hour silent sitting, do it too. Or maybe calming music with deep breathing and grounding. Whatever it feels like, it is your body which dictates how much of a help it needs. Listen to it and give it to it, It will thank you soon after!

Prayers, affirmations and mantras.

This can be used with your own preferences too. Prayers, I believe, are not limited to any religion or church. I believe that every time we surrender, ask for help and simply talk to the Highest Self, the Universe or any other animated energies of this world (use your own names, whichever resonate with you) – we pray. If praying makes you feel not comfortable, use affirmations and mantras when you need it. Talk to yourself in the most kind and compassionate way – imagine talking to a little kid in front of you!

Salt baths and showers.

After very draining day, when I truly feel depleted, I do salt bath or shower. For bath I use 2-4 cups of table or Himalayan salt. The Epsom salt is great for physical issues and muscle soreness, but not much energetical cleanse. When I take shower, I use sea salt soap (get some from truly a great organic source). I clean the palms of my hands and bottoms of my feet, as these are the entry and exit of so much energy, as well as the solar plexus area (between your breast and belly button) – this spot truly is a huge connector to all energetical things happening around us. This time could be also a great time to ground yourself by doing some breathing, maybe calming music or simply dancing. Whatever feels great for you!

Sage and Palo Santo cleanse.

I use these for clearing the space around me. It is a very ancient way of clearing the energy around us and within us. When I have time, these accompany other practices, to help cleanse what I cut cords with. As well as create the safe and energetically clean space for the rest of the time, for instance before calls with clients or creative work. It seriously can be done anywhere. You can purchase the sage or Palo Santo sprays and use those on-the-go. I love their smell and I use it every single time I have access too, which is.. daily!

The sage/Palo Santo I am using I get here:


Yes, you read it right. Salt is the best element (crystal, rock) to use in any way to clear the space around and to protect yourself as you go with your day. Sprinkle the threshold of your home to prevent the negativity entering your home. Sprinkle corners of your rooms, your altar or put some under the meditation pillow. Put some into a little bag and place it in your car, purse or wallet. Use for baths, drinking water and washing hands. Yes, just like that!

Protection mojo bag.

Create your own mini bag to carry with you or have it in places where you get exposed to many different energies the most. Get some little black fabric (cotton or other natural preferable), and place there some salt crystals, smoky or clear quartz crystal, some bay and rosemary leaves, juniper berries, and sprinkle with rosemary or oregano essential oil. Use some black ribbon, wrap it up and there you have it, a great mini-protection tool for yourself!

The salt products, herbs, and crystals can be found:, &

Essential oils and herbs.

I did plenty of studies to find out what herbs I could use to either burn in my caldron, or drink in my tea or simply place on my altar or in my mojo bag. I found that rosemary, bay leaves, juniper berries, cilantro, clove and oregano are the ones to use.

The same goes with essential oils (which I use either topically in coconut oil, as aromatherapy, or as spray dissolved with Witch Hazel tonic). The ones I am using are from doTerra (

Birch, Cilantro, Clove, Rosemary, Vetiver, Myrrh, Frankincense, Lemongrass, Melaleuca;

and blends: Purify, Balance, and Past Tense.

I hope that this very compact and complete list of the tools for energetical cleansing and protection will serve you.

I hope that you will find something that resonated with you and can help you in the process of creating space which feels safe and at home, whenever you need it!

I am curious if you have some of your personal practices. I would love to hear about them!

Write it in your comment or DM on my Instagram @authenticwellbeing or in the private FB women’s space Authentic Wellbeing (join here:

Disclaimer: I am receiving commission only on essential oils (once the provided website is used), all other stores I deeply and honestly suggest due to the high quality of service and products (I personally use them frequently).

I talked about this in the beYOUtiful Show episode #19 🙂

Love ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



The Berry-Cacao Smoothie Bowl – dessert for your cravings!

This dessert-type of recipe is my to-go in my pre-menstruum (time leading up to the menstruation) and during menstruation, because this is the time when I crave CHOCOLATE.

To listen to my body, I started using unsweetened cacao powder and putting it into almost (except for meat, hahaha) anything.

If you follow me long enough on my Instagram or FB page, you already figured out that KAKAO & Cacao plays an important and beautiful role in my daily life.

But why KAKAO or Cacao?

What is it so special about it?

I wrote all benefits of this ingredient in the previous blog. Today, however, I want to emphasize its benefits for women.


Cacao consists of zinc, magnesium and other elements soooo important for our bodies to prepare for bleeding. Our bodies are so clever and it knows that son we will be losing blood and with it a lot of elements necessary for the bodily functions. Those are magnesium, zinc, potassium, iron, selenium and many more.

That’s why you are craving CHOCOLATE – there is nothing ‘wrong’ with you. And if you do, you listen and provide what your body needs to diminish the potential causes of PMS, heavy bleeding or cramp pains.

In this recipe, we are also adding amazing antioxidants from berries (any berries), as well as great and powerful fats from avocado and coconut milk & oil, lots of potassium from banana and sugar regulating spice – cinnamon.

Berry-Cacao Smoothie Bowl recipe:

Serves 2



2 cups frozen blueberries (or mixed berries)

2 medium bananas

1 avocados

¼ cup unsweetened organic cacao powder

1 tsp cinnamon

1 cup unsweetened coconut milk (or full-fat canned coconut milk)

½ cup water (or more if needed)


Optional toppings

Sliced bananas

Hemp seeds

Chopped walnuts

Raw cacao nibs

Coconut flakes




Add all ingredients into the blender and blend until smooth. Add water as much as you wish to create either thicker and creamier version or more liquidy smoothie. Divide into two bowls and top as desired.


I hope you enjoy your Berry-Cacao Smoothie Bowl!

I would love to hear from you how did you like this recipe?

Share with us your experiences and recipes involving either cacao or helping you to go through the pre-menstruum and bleeding phases in the Authentic Wellbeing secret & sacred group here.

Let’s create a tribe of KAKAO GODDESSES!


Bye for now, beYOUtiful!



The Moment

Just writing this here on Monday, in February 2019, to remember.

The morning when I woke up without alarm clock, on my own terms, after getting an amazing nine hours of full night sleep. I remember feeling rejuvenated, fresh and ready to embark on my day.


The morning tea, which I made with a tint of gratitude for my own herbs, hot water and electricity to be able to make that water boiling. The smell of the mint tea, just like in my mini herbal garden, made me feel relaxed and excited to sip on it.


The morning routine the bathroom, where while changing I could express deep and loving gratitude for my body. Knowing where I came from and how hateful I was towards that creation, made me extremely thankful today and put smile on my face.


The natural, organic and herbal salve for my face, which smelled beautifully and made me content with how I am choosing my cosmetics for my precious skin and body. That moment made my soul happy, too.


The journaling and tracking my body’s physical, emotional, mental and spiritual qualities and seeing the pattern associated with my natural cycle. Just knowing that all nature, and me being part of it, lives in cyclical pattern, was very empowering.


The morning breath, pause and movement, which brought me back to my body and to a present moment soothing my anxieties and stress. There would always be stress out there, but I knew that I could tap into trust and awareness at any time, that I have a choice and I could make it into a wonderful day.


The content creating for my newsletter and my audience, where I truly could write with a full expression of myself and my voice, bringing into life powerful message that you all could resonate with and feel that are enough and worthy. This has been sparking my life since some time and I was beyond happy to do that.


The music which could ease out any tense sensations, giving the opportunity for my hips to shake and move in any way they wanted. Engaging with it brought my body relief I craved since this morning, and other mornings, too.


The workshop lead by life-changing, empowering and the most authentic woman I ever met, which created the space filled with energies of safety, openness and full expression of oneself. I couldn’t be more appreciative to be a part of such a circle.


The meditation practice, when I could cry and smile, feel expansion and contraction, or sense stress and relief. During moments like that I know what trust, surrender and release is. During moments like that I know what self-love, compassion and gentleness is. Just being in that feeling when hurt is hurt and joy is joy, without overanalyzing, or putting labels of ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Priceless.


The silence where I could hear my thoughts, my heart pounding, and my deepest and rooted true authentic self. The silence so quiet that it could trigger others, but me. It put a gentle arm around me comforting me, soothing and nurturing my heart, enlightening my soul and bringing joy to my craving Inner Child.


I want to remember that the more love and time and energy and attention and generosity and kindness I give to myself, the more those things are available to give to others. ❤️

It is safe for me to be ME!




One day I got homesick.

I haven’t seen my family, which is back in Europe, for almost 6 years. Due to many reasons, personal, professional, financial and other.

Today I got seriously home sick. I missed my Mom. I couldn’t stop crying, tears were dropping uncontrollably. They were releasing so much sadness. The deep longing for reconnecting to the woman who carried me in her womb, who raised me and who feels what I feel, was overwhelming.

It came suddenly, unplanned.

Yet, it was totally planned. Nothing happens without a reason. The Universe has its ways to communicate!

I don’t have kids. I wanted at some point in my life. But due to hormonal problems, such as PCOS, I knew I will either have difficulties to get pregnant or never be able to have kids. After trying for over one and a half years with my ex-husband, I gave up. In order for me to not get depressed, I convinced my mind and heart that it is ok. That I am sick and I can always enjoy the children in my family, among my friends and around me. I even volunteered for children mentorship organizations to fulfill what was missing in my life.

Whenever someone asked me about kids, my answer was very fast and straightforward: I don’t want to have kids. I won’t be a good mother and I believe I am being a more responsible person by not having them rather than giving them a bad example and a bad family.

The emotions about having one were scary, fearful, even to the point of being disgusted.

I also felt that I love my space.  I like living luxury life. I like being by myself. Kids would just destroy my beautiful, well organized environment which I could live by myself according to myself.

Recently, the situation in my relationship forced me to discuss the potential pregnancy with my fiancée. I am not sure why did I even ask about what we will do if that happens. I quickly concluded that I am having an abortion in that case. There is no space for a kid in my life. No, no, no.

Yet, the other day I wasn’t able to purchase a pregnancy test in the store. For the first time in my life all I could feel was my heart saying that all of it is in God’s and the Universe’s hands.

I came back home and I started crying.

Cried and cried, not knowing why at first.

I missed my mom!

I realized that I didn’t want to have kids, ever in my life, because I didn’t want them to hurt me as I hurt my mom.

I didn’t want them to leave me behind and abandon me as I did to my mom.

Since I was little, I knew my mission was to protect my mom. Protect her from my abusive dad. I saw her too often on the floor bleeding from kicks and punches from my dad. All I could do to protect her then was to make sure my younger siblings were quiet so my dad wouldn’t punish my mom even more. I knew I was helping her.

I was protecting her from abusive words during the family events, where my dad could call her a whore in front of hundreds of people. Her tears were my tears, her dishonored person was mine to carry.

I was protecting her every single time I could. And if there was a moment I couldn’t it was because I wasn’t present.

Then I left to college. I left her!

I left her in the place where there was no love for her. I left her with a person I deeply hated. I left her alone and weak, sad and depressed, yet so strong that she allowed me to go. With a smile on her face, eyes full of hope, body language expressing deep love and pain at the same time, she sent me to the outside world. That way I could go there and get an education and be an independent woman and a kind person to even my enemies, serve others and always forgive, as she forgave my father a long time ago.

How could she possibly do that?


Because she is the strongest woman on this planet I have ever known.

Today, knowing how I hurt her, I know I don’t want to feel that hurt myself. I don’t want my kid to abandon me.

I don’t want my kid to tell me one day that she doesn’t want to live anymore. Because I did that, too, to my mom on my birthday, when she called me at the exact same time I was born 37 years earlier. I told her that I want to die, and I should have never been born.

I can just feel the sharp pain in her heart. Yet, she didn’t even move. She didn’t panic. She didn’t cry. That wonderful woman said words I will never forget.

‘Your birth gave me hope and it always will. So today I am telling you that there is hope! Stay with me baby girl and we both will make it work!’

– my MOM

So today I know that in order to love, forgive and live with hope, kindness, compassion and unlimited strength in my heart and soul, I need to feel pain, experience hurt and tears and keep moving. Through pain there is healing. Through pain I can become the true and authentic, loving and beautiful woman my Mom always wanted me to be. Just like her! And always loving my enemies! Just like her!

Today I am grateful for what I am being given, the wonderful gift of life, the wonderful Mother and the opportunity to give life and be a mother myself as well. Whatever it is meant for me to give birth to!